So I recently called in to cancel my American Express Gold Card.

“Well, Sir, if you don’t mind me asking,” began the representative in a tone of voice I can only describe as accusatory, “what is it you don’t like about your American Express Gold Card?”

“Well, it’s not that I’ve have any problems with the card itself or anything - it’s just that I’m not willing to pay the $135 annual fee,” I answered. (The first year was fee-free but an annual fee was to be assessed after that - hence my decision to cancel the card.)

“Are you aware that very few people can actually get a card like this? Are you aware of the unique benefits this card offers, such as VIP access to entertainment events, fraud protection, no hard credit limit? Are you aware that as a Gold Card holder, you’re one of our most valued members, that you’re part of a privileged group of special people who…”

The representative continued on like this for a minute or so.

“So with that in mind, we’d like to retain you as a member. Is that alright?”

“That’s fine if you can waive the annual fee,” I responded.

No go. I canceled the card.

* * *

Personal finance is a battle. It really is. Well, okay, there’s usually no violence involved, so maybe the word “battle” is a little strong. Since you objected, I’ll use the word “competition.”

One of tools that your competitors will use against you is the concept of exclusivity. American Express understands this. Gucci understands this. Prada understands this. Ferrari understands this. And anybody who wants to achieve financial success has gotta understand it.

When you try to sell something - anything, say, your blog - you realize that your methods of promotion make a lot more impact than the quality of the work you do. If you’ve got a bad product, you’re gonna be in trouble, but in the end, salesmanship is tops.

One of the best ways to sell something is to convince somebody that you’ve got the secret. That’s right, the secret. The one that will open all the closed doors. The one that will make you a part of that special group of people who are always smiling behind their sunglasses - the kind who lay by the poolside in the sunshine in their gated estates while the caretaker trims the shrubbery.

In the last couple years, a book called “The Secret” has sold millions of copies worldwide. The book promises that you can achieve success - the focus being on financial success - by envisioning yourself succeeding and by taking advantage of the “law of attraction.” I haven’t read the book, so I can’t comment on it directly, but I can say with complete certainty that there is no secret.

Or if there is a secret, the secret is that there is no secret.

Don’t listen to anyone who offers you access to some exclusive club. Such individuals almost never have your interests at heart. They’re trying to convince you of something fundamentally false: that some people are in and some people are out and that to be in, you’ve gotta buy their product.

Where I live, in Los Angeles, this concept is almost a religion. Many many doors here will not open to you unless you know somebody or you are somebody. This idea pervades everything from the movie world to restaurant reservations. And you know what, I don’t think anyone ever makes it to the top without recognizing that this whole concept is fundamentally false. To make it to the top, you’ve got to put on airs. You’ve got to convince everybody that you’re already on top, and they are not. Your capacity to make other people believe this determines your level of success.

I believe that there is an element of truth to all this. In reality, you do have the ability to determine whether or not you succeed. Recognizing that you are the one who makes the rules is a prerequisite for success. You create the game, and you play the game. Hopefully, though, once you’re on top, you won’t perpetuate the same deceptions you had to overcome to get there.

In the context of personal finance, this means that you shouldn’t ever be taken in by someone who wants to sell you some expensive thing that will make you part of an exclusive club. You are the one who decides whether or not you are in - not the credit card company, not the car dealership, not a particular clothing brand. And once you’ve achieved some measure of financial stability, hopefully, you’ll spread that message to others who haven’t yet quite “gotten it.”

If everyone took control of their own finances, refusing to allow others to determine what they will and will not purchase, I believe that debt levels would drop and overall happiness would increase. I believe this is a message worth spreading.

What I’m ultimately saying, I think, is that material goods will not make you happy. It’s not a new message, but it bears repeating.

No material good that anyone can sell you will let you “in.” There is no “in!” There is no place else to go. There is only the here and now. And we’ve gotta do our best to succeed under present conditions. If you’re looking for some particular good that’ll open some particular door that’ll lead to some kind of paradise - well, good luck!

As for me, I’m happy living cheap, slowly building wealth - slowly getting rich by living like a poor person. I’d like to have more money. This is the reason I do many things I do. But I don’t ever want to allow the desire for money alone to control my behavior.

Regardless of the amount of money you have, happiness comes from realizing that you are already “in.”

Spread the message.

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